I’m celebrating the Lunar Eclipse in Capricorn by acknowledging the work I have done to integrate the masculine and the feminine forces within myself. Today’s eclipse marks many karmic endings, and consequently the beginning of a new and more authentic sense of emotional security.

This inner war between the masculine and feminine has manifested in very challenging past significant relationships with the men in my life since my childhood. Over the last couple years, I have learned that I don’t have to work so hard to receive the love I deserve. I’ve been learning that the love I really require is a love that no man or person other than myself can give me.

I praise all the amazing generous people who give me love daily, but unless I’m loving myself, I am not able to receive their sunshine. The love I give is not about who I give it to. The love I give is a reflection of my own inner wealth and nature.

I am deeply grateful for healing of the estranged relationship I had with my father back in my twenties. It has really helped me to realize how much we are like each other and to come to appreciate that my father is a truly heroic human being. His challenging aspects make him endearing to my heart. The fact that I possess many of these personality traits helps me to like myself better. When I can look at a difficult person and see myself smiling back at me- that is the transcendent love I incarnated into this life to experience.

Astrology helps me to understand this relationship within myself. My natal moon (emotional nature and the mother) is in detriment in Capricorn which represents authority, father figures, the hard-ass masculine that sets boundaries and gets shit done.

This dynamic would be challenging enough, but to intensify the challenge, my natal moon is in direct opposition to my natal Mars (masculine drive, libido, the will to penetrate and to DO) which is in detriment in Cancer. The sign of Cancer represents the mother, nurturing, water, emotions, sensitivity.

This opposition in my natal chart is made even juicier by being squared by other celestial power players in a grand cardinal cross. I won’t get into that here, but basically when people with this kind of alignment get hit hard in one area in one area of life, they get hit hard in all areas of life. There is no easy detachment or escape route. One crash can take the whole ship down. Ultimately, I have to heal the problem and fly or crash.

“Some people are learning to die,
Some people are yearning to fly,
I know that I’ll be learning to fly . . . ”
– Brett Dennen

Today I am celebrating the fact that I am learning to fly inside of my heart.

I have never felt so secure in my life. This feeling of security has nothing to do with outside circumstances. I’m loving my outside circumstances presently, but I know that can change in an instant. There are things that I don’t currently have, that I still very much want, and I can see the beauty in that. Life is a journey. As long as I’m breathing, the game is on.

I feel deep trust in Divine Timing and in the power of the Universe to provide for me with gracious abundance. Everything keeps on working out for me.
Hallelujah!
I am loved beyond knowing!

How did I get to this point?
I have consciously entered a love story with the parts of me that have been at war. I am falling in love with the deep integrity of my Capricorn Moon. Certainly, it can be ponderous and make it challenging to go with the flow. My wounds run deep into the core of the Earth, but I’ll never find a more faithful, more committed heart. It is the depth of my wounds and the healing of them that make me a force to be reckoned with. I do not equivocate on what matters most. I have my hard-headed Capricorn Moon to thank for that.

Mars in Cancer has really pummeled me like the surf thrashing a crab. I don’t just cut through problems like my ascendant and south node in Aries wants me to.

And I give thanks for that.

If my Mars was in a fire sign, I would likely cause a lot of havoc in a world that is crying out for Warriors of Peace. This is an era crying out for people who temper their actions with wisdom and compassion. My Mars in Cancer is a Warrior of the Home. I brave the tumultuous, ever-shifting waters of emotion, and I learn how to find peace & strength in the foment of human feelings.

I chose to incarnate with these challenging oppositions in order to be a part of the solution to the crisis and trauma that besets our world today. The heart of the earth is crying out for peace through love and integrity.

Because I choose to know love and be loved, I MUST sit in the fire.
I give great praise to the Universe, my parents, the demanding and exacting feminine & masculine forces within me, the Earth, and most especially to my Self for being willing to undergo the fires of transformation in order to manifest a greater love and a better way than has ever been known before.

So may it be for you my friend.
Your obstacles are your path.
Your brilliance can be found in the charnel grounds where others fear to tread.
Fall in love with everything you are shown, and I promise you, your love story will never end.