We're in Heaven

The other day, I was feeling low. I didn’t feel like getting down to work. I was tired from staying up the night before. My energy was in the trough. I got in the shower, and at some point in my cleansing process, Bryan Adam’s eighties hit song, “Heaven,” started playing in my head. In response, I felt an overwhelming wave of warmth spill from my heart and circulate throughout my body. I had the wonderful experience of simultaneously feeling low energy and of loving myself unconditionally.

Once in your life you find someone
who will turn your world around,
bring you up when you’re feeling down

Nothing could change what you mean to me,
there’s lots that I could say,
but just hold me now
’cause our love will light the way

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of finding someone like this, but the other day in the shower, I had the realization that I am this someone. I am the Uplifter and the Magic Maker. I always was. I’ve made magic intentionally lots of times for others, but in the last several years, I’ve begun to make it intentionally for me, and when I sink into this song, I realize that this is a love song that my Higher Self sings for me all the time.

Thinking about our younger years
there was only you and me,
we were young and wild and free.
Now, nothing can take you away from me;
we’ve been down that road before,
but that’s over now.
You keep me coming back for more.

On both sides of my family, I was born to a long line of loners. I had no clue how to make friends as a child. Neither of my parents had friends, and I was not encouraged to make any. Being independent by nature, I stood apart, even from my sisters. Solitude felt like the only place where it was safe to be my uncanny, quirky self.

As a result, I usually kept my own company growing up. However, when I consider this song, I remember that I was never truly alone. Spirit was always with me. I dwelt in a secret land of beauty. When life got hard, I would bury that beauty deep within me to protect it, and somewhere along the way, I forgot that this secret world existed.

Over the course of my life, I’ve taken many chances with my life and my heart. I’ve opened my heart to the world, been rejected, and done it all over again dozens of times. Each time, I’ve learned more about myself, and I’ve finally reached a major realization. My secret motivation for opening up to others is to find myself in the process.

I’ve been waiting for so long
For something to arrive
For love to come along

Now that I know this, I don’t have to wait for anyone or anything anymore. I’m already here. I can open my heart wide open, because I’m the One I’ve been waiting for. Now people can see me more clearly. They can know better if I am someone to join forces with or to respectfully move along. I don’t have to take supposed “rejection” personally anymore. It’s not that I don’t become attached anymore, because I do. It’s only now I realize that I’m the main event. So if someone is not lining up with me, that someone is not meant to. It’s getting easier to switch focus and let go as many times as needed.

It doesn’t matter who or what must be lost as long as I am found. A greater sense of possibility exists in each day. Even when my energy is tanking, I can accept myself and my need to rest. I can tell myself to not think about life when I’m low. I can take refuge in love songs from my childhood and remind myself of the beautiful, boundless Spirit whose life force is my own. Each time I step into nature, I see my face reflected back to me, and I fall in love again.

Now our dreams are coming true,
through the good times and the bad,
I’ll be standing there by you.

I’ve included this video of Bryan Adams performing “Heaven” live at Wembley 1996 in this post, because I am touched by how well that audience knew all the words to the opening verse of this song. They really sang it with open hearts, and it makes me feel like there may be undiscovered worlds of beauty inside of lots of people. I don’t believe you can truly love this song without being a profound romantic in some part of your being. This is a thought that makes me smile, and helps me to remember that no one is ever truly alone.